Idiot Alert

Heyhey people. If ard the 24th May someone with my msn nick came to you and ask u weird questions abt arthur ngoh, kangdi or "if i am pretty a not".. blah blah..

Please dun be disgusted with me. Simply because that is NOT me.

Obviously that person has too much time on his hands. I really wanna curse but I cant.. argh.. Thanks to Xinrong for discovering this heinous act of that person together with me. I hope she is the only victim, other than myself. Imagine the mess I have to clean up if more ppl were involved.

So if "I" was talking in a really weird and un-me manner. Kindly slaughter "me" for me.

You are performing a kind deed.

Lousy lousy

I am sick!My nose is running and my throat is feeling sore. I think a cold is coming. Sianz. bad things seems to be coming at me all at once eh? I don't get to see the people I long to see.

My mom is in this peevish mood. Every word out of her mouth seem like needles coming at me. No, I mean daggers. Thats like the last thing I need now, but she don't seem to understand. She just wants to be this authority towering over me not allowing me to feel any emotions. Well, she once said I have no right to get mad at her for any matter. I am only human. As much as I try to hold back all my frustration, there's still a limit to what I am able to do.

Saw a friend's nick saying he's kong xu. 空虚. Emptiness. Its been there a month over. I guess I just didn't realise. But I am feeling it too. Perhaps for the past 2-3 years I didn't know it was there. I mean, nothing was there. I had no faith in anything. Thankfully I have an old old friend who guided me back. If not I wouldn't have know what I missed in my life for so long. But I am still at the trying part.

And during these few days, I had nothing to do at all. So I did a bit of reflecting. Found a few answers. Part of the reason why I have stopped trying and giving my best in life was because I probably did so before. But I ended up with nothing in the end. It shocked me too that in this short 20 years of my life I am already feeling old. Like I have no more energy to try to achieve anything else. Like I said, I probably did try and ended up with nothing. Those events practically sucked all energy out of me. Now every time when I try to focus on something, subconsciously something pulls me back. And I have no energy to fight it. I would feel like giving it up and running away from it. Because subconsciously I will tell myself that no matter how hard I try the end result will be the same. There was this one thing that I did my best to hold on to. And I put in so much to find that I wasn't appreciated at all. That I was lied to. And that I was always second to something else. Or perhaps just a substitute.

That probably made me who I am today. To doubt almost everything and everyone. I became a lost sheep and I was just floating along. I know this may sound super sad but I am saying it with a really peaceful dispostion. Not depressed at all or anything of that sort. Just peaceful I guess. Scares me a little to realize so many things too. Perhaps I should have talked about it to my friends more. I put on this brave front telling them all that happened that time was not a big deal, and only till this day did I realise it wasn't that small peanut I made it up to be. I was a good actress I guess. Coz no one really suspected anything thats wrong with me then. And to sum up some statistic, such shitty thingy happened to me twice in my life time. I guess I'm not that strong. I may have gotten over it but u see.. the scar remains.

Feels much better letting things out finally. I guess my prayers were answered. And perhaps I should heed Lee's advice to join her youth group thingy. Maybe fresh faces will help. Probably tats what I am going to do now.

Oh ya. I know I haven update anything on my Taipei trip. Soon soon. Once I get out of my lazy self. Coz there are really tonnes of photos to upload and things to tell you guys. Hehe. And shengyuan, once its done up, hopefully it will be of some help to you.

Ah.. most of my worries are gone. Irene finally found some employment. I have time to 跷脚 (reads: shake leg). Lee is still alive and I have lesser and lesser hamsters (another two given to Wayne). Hehez. Oh and Jon was acting kinda weird the other day. He took my msn nick and put it as his own and said he is helping me "promote my blog".. I offered him to join my fan club. haha. Like I have any to begin. Crappy. And I talked to his mom for a while. At first I didn't buy it. I was cautious though. Hehe. Luckily I didn't speak a lot of crap. Coz it turns out to be really his mom I think. Hehz.

Halfway thru chatting with my friends.. my assy (elder) brother did his usual thing. He said he need to use for 15 mins but he actually used for a bleedy 35 mins. I dun like him much. Bleh!

Bringing two friends to service this coming Sunday. Hopefully both of them can make it. Hehe. Both from AJC. Haha. Its time they meet each other. Hehe. I am not trying to imply anything k..

I guess thats all for now. Losing my voice. Can't eat spicy stuff! Argh...

While unpacking I did this..

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're quite the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's" Your Personality Type?

Your Linguistic Profile:

40% Yankee

30% General American English

20% Dixie

10% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Depression sets in....

I just stepped into my house not long ago after a 4 hr long flight. Itchy hands lahz, went online to check my results. Now all my mood .. gone. WTF. How can anyone da bao two subjects in one semester? And I don't think I will ever be able to clear my GEs. Great. I wanted a clean record the very least.

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME MODERATION HASN'T BEEN DONE YET??

I really think I need such a miracle to happen. Someone please. Even if you are lying to me. Perhaps it can buy me some peace for the next few days.

I must really drop the habit of skipping classes and not doing any tutorials at all. Kick my slacker ways out of my life. I have been livin' dangerously for far too long. Time to let it go and be some nerd, mugger watever you call it. This feeling of looking at sucky results feels like shit. I really wonder how it will feel to see straight As and Bs. I haven felt that way for 1..2..3..4..5 years.

Time to walk on the safe side. Yes, its high time I do so.

Flying

Byebye guys.. see ya guys in 5 days time.. flying off at 11 plus in the morning i think.. hehe.. hope the plane doesn't crash.. i'm pretty worried bout this part.. touchwood.. touchwood.. touchwood.. touchwood.. i'm really worried.. seriously.. all the horror stories on tv.. especially on discovery channel.. regret!.. been watching too much of those things.. gosh.. the more i talk about it.. the more freaked i get!!.. alamak! maybe i have Pteromerhanophobia- fear of flying. my oh my.. pray that i have a safe journey!!! See ya!!

Some enlightenment

Woke up early today to go to church (hehe) in a long while. Wanted to take bus down. So tried to get out of my house a little earlier. Saw the bus 302 at the bus-stop and I decided to make a dash for it. I rarely do that kind of thing. Lucky the bus driver waited for me, I boarded the bus only to realize I didn't have my wallet with me!

Had to get off the next stop and walk back to my house. So I end up short of time again. I guess its "destined" I gotta take a cab down.. again..

But thats not the point of me blogging today. Recently heard about a friend being attacked on her blog. The issue: A faithful servant of God ain't suppose to go clubbing. I was in a fix when she asked me to help her rebuke that anonymous person. Coz firstly I wasn't sure if clubbing was an acceptable thing to do for a christian. Well, part of me feels its not. Thats why I dun club that much. Back to the point. I am not supporting the anonymous although I may not totally agree with my friend's actions. But clubbing is not an entirely evil thing. Talked to Cuixia today a little regarding this. She told me its not an acceptable thingy to be doing. I guess if clubbing was to hang out with friends, its definitely not an evil thing. But to some the definition of clubbing may incorporate something more. I need not mention much. Use your imagination.

Most importantly its where you draw your own line. Drinking wise.. I am really not sure.. coz if I say its evil.. then I 've sinned too. But if clubbing was the avenue for guys to pick up girls for whatever activity afterwards .. its definitely an evil thing. But I guess my friends wont go to that extent. And definitely not so for my dear friend who got attacked. This I definitely have to defend her. Simply because she is the kind who just does the hanging-out.. nothing more. I trust her on that.

My sermon today was about turning to the dark side. Basically its about worshipping other idols.. that could be in many forms.. money, power etc.. etc.. I am not trying to preach christianity here.. I think it applies to all religious teachings.. Whatever your religion is.. its good to keep in mind the teachings that you should learn and the Word that you should keep. And always walk where light shines. Hehez..


"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. " --- Jim Elliot

Class Gathering part II *Photos!!*

Its a pity we only took so few.. but there's still a next time! and a next.. and a next~



Monitress and treasurer reunite!


The four remaining beauties of 4e2.. wahaha


The hunkies of 4e2.. watever thats left.. hehehz..


After the 4 hours of non-stop singing session... woohoo~



Still taking our own sweet time.. the waiter already
waiting at the door wanting to chase us out!

Class Gathering

Phew just came back from my 4e2 class gathering. The time is 5.28 am now. Its kinda crazy. I am still not sleeping.. (Sheng Yuan and Edmund also still online)

Never tot we would stay out so late. But it was really fun! And certainly not as bad as I tot earlier.

I was really thinking too much. It was really about hanging out and catching up and having fun... Or maybe they nvr took notice of my fat problem. wahahaha..Or they dun tell to say anything about it perhaps. ahhh.... but thats not important now. I was worrying too much. hehez... phew~

(actually thanks to edmund lahz. coz he took all the "limelight" for the fat issue. Man.. he is damn fat now. heheh. A sign of good life in the army. A pig's life.)

We went marche to have our dinner. Still, I think its a sucky place for food. But cant help lah. Its really hard finding a place to fit 18 of us in without hogging the entire place.

The topic over dinner was full of shocks and stunners. I guess my jaws dropped 8 to 9 times in that hour.

First up, ziyin and wei kong joined the 绝对 Superstar (reads: jue dui, which means ultimate?) singing competition by Channel U. Gosh. Shocking eh?... at least for me. Never in my whole entire life would it ever occur to me that they actually sing... goodness gracious me..

Not tat I want to rub salt over their already rotting-with-maggots-crawling-all-over wound, (hehe).. wei kong got axed at the very first audition. Ziyin made it to the second audition, but didn't hang around long too. I heard he got "ding ding ding!" by the judges when he only sang till the third line of his song. k lahz.. i just hope they get over it soon.. esp ziyin.. its not that a big deal mahz.. and dun blame us for not going there to support you.. spare u the embarrassment of getting kicked out in front of so many people.

The other one is seeing how slim Kong Di has gotten. Wah.. inspires me to want to do the same .. he changed a whole 360degrees. (Edmund.. hear this k.. look at kong di ah.. u should be pai sei already...) Maybe I shall post his before and after photo. But dun wan lah... a bit bad right.. wats in the past should remain in the past.. wahaha

Hehez.. and I think this one is super funny. An liat.. the forever-so-beng Beng in our class. haha.. he never changed a bit. Super beng now. He brought his gf along for dinner. She sat right next to him.. like in those triad movies with a woman and a whole table of 小弟s ...damn he look like those 大哥 (reads: big brother) of some triad lor. 黑帮老大.. damn scary lor. hehehz.. and after dinner we were deciding where to head to... then i asked Sheng Yuan casually wat An liat has been up to lately.. hehe.. in my head this picture of him selling handphones in an ah-beng handphone shop already surfaced in my head. Hehe.. and bingo lor. He really is a handphone seller( but studying at the same time lahz). Couldn't stop laughing. Oh ya.. forgot to add.. he got fat too. heheh.. not that he was fit in the past lahz.. (oOpz i am really inviting trouble over here..)

Karaoke was at Partyworld at Orchard. hahah.. damn funny.. we went down and the whole place looked like some 夜总会 (reads: nightclub) The deco and furnishing.. haha.. and Yong Kwang keep wanting to call for 舞小姐 (reads: hostess) Damn cheekopek .. But the room was really big and the tv too. Like the one at my house. Kaixin was the no. 1 singer among the girls lor... i think she sang like a thousand songs.. hehez.. must be frequent ktv a lot ah.. so familiar with all the songs.. I think all the girls can sing.. especially Alicia. I think she has a good voice.

Actually at the ktv, its like 高手如云. Stunner leh.. everyone sang so pro. Haha.. maybe except Yong Kwang.. ahahah... still dare to say he wants to cut an album. wahahaha... oh another 不要脸 one is Edmund Tong. Ma cham his concert like tat. Sing non-stop.. till everyone sian like siao. and he talk like non stop also lor. We went Swensons' after the singing for ice cream. And so sad.. Me and Xinrong and Alicia had to endure his non-stop talking n crapping. Really is non-stop! Xinrong almost went mad and i resorted to stoning. I think if talking can slim someone down.. Edmund will have no weight problem.. oOpz..

Here's the list of ppl who came:

• ME
• Shengyuan
• Xinrong
• Yong Kwang
• Kong di
• Edmund
• Jonathan
• Kai Xin (n bf)
• Alicia
• Lucy
• Guan Bing
• Kang xiang
• Ziyin
• Weikong
• Alan
• An Liat (n gf)
• Kian Teck
• Yong Chang
• Joel
• Yu Hong
  

The M.I.A. ones:

• Chendur
• Lukman
• Jason Hau
• Xian Yao(mia since a million yrs ago)
  
• Sheng Wei
• Ben Koh
• Jayren
• Jayson
• CaiPing
  
• Jingmin
• Huiching
• Zhi wei
• Jin Gui
• Zi jia
  
• Sarah
• Jessica
• wee kiat
• Alfred
• Minghan(mia since a million yrs ago)
• Dalton

(Disclaimer: We r not racists...wahahah)

But there were two factions at the end of dinner. There always have been this divide ever since the days of 3e2. I would say my wing were the guai kiaz...好孩子们. The other .. hehe.. the more beng ones. So the bengs went for pool and drinking after that... the guai ones for karaoke and then ice cream.. so healthy right.. hehee...

I think I really laughed non-stop tat night. Thanks to Edmund Tong and Jonathan's singing. hoho~... cant help I dunno why i laugh at the latter.. and ah... Shengyuan! Dun go refresh ppl's memory about Arthur Ngoh k.. if not I will be very busy have to go silence the ppl who knows about it. waahha..

Cant wait for the next gathering... really hate for it to end. but i was damn tired and i think stinky being out the whole day and the weather damn hot.. One of my fun-est days since sec 4 days!.. I think these are the grreatest people to hang around. cheeros people.. u guys rox!....

What's up yo?

Perhaps I angered him. But I dun usually feel sorry for wat I have done.. in most things.

For this one, definitely not.

I wont apologize either. Coz I dun think I said anything wrong.

He always asks for movie treats or food treats whenever he does a favour for me. I say he is calculative always asking for something in return. (and I explained tats the reason why his bank acount is an only-in-no-out one)

There's this part he gave me a mechanical pencil n bar of chocolate. Not tat I am not thankful when I get things from ppl, somehow I just feel that this pencil and chocolate thingy is redundant.

Coz there's no special occasion for anything. And with that u cant make me feel i'm indebted to u. I rather not take any of ur things for u to say tat u gave me this and that in the end.

I did not ask for them in the first place.

He said there's a purpose behind giving treats and stuff.. I dun see wat. Someone enlighten me. What's the purpose in u treating me and me treating u?

U think like children play masak-masak ah?

wats up?

(I want to add, friends, there's nuthing between me and him. He definitely is not interested in me, neither am I in him)

He said he is not greedy for money. I didnt say that abt him. I only said he is calculative. Does that imply greed for money?? I dun think so, as far as I know.

Yah he is misunderstood like he said. I dun get wats going on. What's he thinking?

Dear friend, if u may, please, enlighten me..

So stressed!

Its not that I really like to talk about my job.. but its bothering me enuff to make me do so.

Just the other day my long-time colleague told me that I will be helping Cindy (our finance manager) from Monday onwards. Only one word popped in my head. S***.

The best I noe of Cindy so far is that whenever she comes out of her office, she is either giving someone some dressing-down or that she is not, but still sound like she is. Even when she is telling some joke she sounds like that.

That really makes my knees go wobbly. But this is only based on what little I noe of her. Perhaps a boss like that is better than those who smiles at u but is actually contemplating a million ways to rid you off this world or something.

And something's worse. CLASS GATHERING.

Damn stressed. Feel like not going. I hate it when people always expect certain things out of u. Miracles like becoming prettier or losing 10 kilos. That will never happen and I hate it when they ask "what happened" otherwise.

I know lah. Most importantly is catch up with ppl. But I can bet a million dollars the above situation will happen! - part of the "catching up".

I HAVE DEGENERATED DUE TO A MILLION REASONS. I AM SAYIN' IT NOW SO YOU DUN HAVE TO ASK ME LATER.

SPARE ME.

Man.. that looks like some engravings you see on some one's tomb. Perhaps this will complete it.

R.I.P

Always in our hearts

LEE FANG HUI

1985-2005

Damn shitty. I know I am being childish and silly but I cant think otherwise. Worrying bout such things is part of being a girl I guess. Why can't I be a guy?? I can go to army and lose some fatty tissue!

Argh.

I was stung by a bee

Yep I was stung for the first time in my life.

It happened after dinner. My family dined out in the Sembawang area.

I rested my arm on the side arm rest by the door. And 30 seconds after my dad started the car I felt this sharp pinch on my inner lower arm. Burning. Obviously it was acidic. (f.y.i. most insect bites are acidic. Thats why it hurts a whole damn lot.)

I screamed and was busy tryin to brush off the insect and touched something slimy. What was left on my arm was the sting and that slim were the bee's insides.

F***.. could I get any luckier.

One burning question was how the hell the bee got into the car.

Perhaps it was there all along, considering my dad's occupation: employee of the National Parks Board.

F***..


If you said u cant make it and asked me to go look for someone else, should I go look for someone else to call my best friend too??
That favour isn't too much to ask for I believe.. I dun always ask for favours.

Utterly disappointed...