One God, One Love

Goodness Gracious!

2006-12-14T15:21:00.000+08:00

What happened to my blog!!

Sigh...

Its Christmas again!

2006-12-12T11:38:00.000+08:00

Dear readers, I'm presenting to you my homemade Christmas treats. Quality ingredients. No worries, they are all tried and tested recipies - Tested by ME! and some of my lucky friends. Do show me some support yah? On top of the list above, I also make regular cookies at

$6 for 10 pcs (approx 2.5 inches wide)
$4 for 12 pcs (approx 1.5 inches wide)

Please allow 3 days upon order for the items to be ready.

Self collection at :

Bukit Batok MRT
Yew Tee Mrt

Email raider_fangz@hotmail.com to order

Moving out..

2006-10-13T13:48:00.000+08:00

Hey all, if you still visit this place.. I'm moving to a new blog..

Find me at www.orangesunshade.blogspot.com..

See ya there!!

What the world lacks today is Compassion

2006-06-08T02:08:00.000+08:00

Big title. I just suddenly feel this way. It has been a long time since I ever used my HEART to understand the people around me. Most of the time we are too preoccupied with the troubles in our own turf to really listen and help the people around us.

Was talking to JY the other night when I stayed over at her place. I listened mostly. She was being very troubled with her work and colleagues. I offered my advice as much as I could after hearing her problems. Really hope she can get out of that situation. It is hurtful to see friends stuck in circumstances that's bad for them. As much as I want to offer my hand to get her out of the mud, ultimately, she must stretch out her hand to reach mine. Recently I read an interesting story. Here goes:

A man is walking along a cliff and all of a sudden loses his balance, slips and falls off. Fortunately, he has the presence of mind to grab on to the ledge, and he's hanging there for dear life. He hangs and hangs and finally yells out, "Is there anybody up there who can help me?" There was no answer. He keeps calling and calling, "Is there anyone up there who can help me?" Finally this big bellowing voice calls back, "This is God. I can help you. Just let go and trust." Next thing you hear: "Is there anybody else up there who can help me?"

The lesson is simple. If you want to move to a higher level of life, you have to be willing to let go of some of your old ways of thinking and being, and adopt new ones.

Simple story but it conveys an important message. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a rut. Some would blame it on bad luck. But whatever state or situation we are in is just a result of what we are inside.

For example, suppose you have just written a letter on your computer. You hit the print key and the letters comes out of your printer. You look at your hard copy, and lo and behold, you find a typo. So you take your trusty eraser and rub out the typo. Then you hit print again and out comes the same typo. Oh my gosh, how could this be? You just erased it! So this time you get a bigger eraser and you rub even harder and longer. You even study a three-hundred-page manual called Effective Erasing. Now you've got all the "tools" and knowledge you need. You're ready. You hit print and there it is again! "No way!" you cry out, stunned in amazement. "How could this be? What's going on here? Am I in twilight zone?"

What's going on here is that the real problem cannot be changed in the "printout", the physical world; it can only be changed in the "program", the mental, emotional, and spiritual worlds.

That is, we should make changes in the "program", that is our minds and the way we think to really rectify the problem. And not focus on the "printout" - the result.

Also, we always have to begin with ourselves. We can't change the world. But change the way we think, and we change the world.

Health is a result, illness is a result, your weight is a result. We live in a world of cause and effect.

Food for thought. Think about it. I hope it will help you, my friends.

Money Money

2006-05-29T00:52:00.000+08:00

Hmm. wE|^'s comments made me ponder for a moment.. (this, however, is not directed at you.. )

When it comes to the money issue, the cool answer would always be "Money is not important to me".. why why why? Is it real? Admitting that money is important would come across as being preoccupied with money? Why be afraid to admit that money plays a very big part in the things we are able to do today? Don't we go out and work for money in the next 40 years to come? Why then are we fighting for a good degree? Why are we fighting to climb the corporate ladder? If money is not important to us, why waste that time and just go do things we want to do? Simply because without money we can do nothing much, especially in Singapore, or any part of the world today. I am not saying money is everything, but without money you won't have much anyway. And sometimes, when you can have more, why settle for less? Perhaps you can let your family enjoy staying in a bigger house, driving them around in a bigger car?

One last question, if money is not important to you, why not empty your bank account into mine?

2006-05-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

My happiness was shortlived I suppose. Even though I was shortlisted for an interview I guess I didn't quite make the grade. Especially when they ask me why my results were "like that". Well well what can I possibly say to them?

Oh well, now I have to wait for the ballot. Like the rest of the people. I'm going to be some cheap labour. I heard results will be coming out soon for peepz in NUS. When will my results come out?? I don't know and I don't want to know about it.

Yippee!!!

2006-05-10T02:30:00.000+08:00

Hurray!! My joy is uncontainable!! Yeah!! I got shortlisted for an interview!!! Yesh! yesh! yesh!!

There were only 9 ppl shortlisted and I am last on the list. Am I lucky or what (despite my lousy results and all)! At least now I have a shot at not having to be some cheap labour for some company.. HURRAY!

Tips for interviews, anyone?

Cat Fight.. literally

2006-05-06T01:48:00.000+08:00

This was my study mate throughout the exam. A very distracting one.

The distraction has already begun..

First strike on my hand..

A second attack so swift that the camera couldn't catch up!

One last pose for the fans.. haha..

For those with the keen eye.. a cat toy that's the colour of my Bishop.
Could it be fate?
I got that toy during my JC days (2003) when me and Shena was shopping at Holland V Action City.. cool..

Waiting for my IA Interview

2006-05-05T22:23:00.000+08:00

My last paper ended yesterday on a pretty bad note. I didn't really know how to do the paper and the things that I know, I couldn't recall. Bad bad. 7 days to study for it and I waited till the last 1 and a half day before I started. My bad. Argh.

Went out with a bunch of school people. Never thought we would "hang out" together in the first place. Watched MI:3 after a brief lunch at Tiong Bahru. I was in a state of discomfort and restlessness. Partly because I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before. Throughout the show I was trying to find a comfortable position to take a nap. Argh. The show opened with a series of detonation cords lighting themselves up. I was "cheesed" to the max. I have never thought the theme sounded so cheesy. I'm not the biggest fan of action movies anyway. I thought too many impossible things happened in the show. Didn't buy the whole thing. Oh well. Wasted 8 bucks.

Later on, we went for a buffet at Harborfront. Chinese style buffet in a restaurant, something I could only imagine doing with my family. Funny feeling being the only girl at a table with 6 other guys. I cared more about the food anyway. Haha.

My IA interview schedule was supposed to be out today. Another disappointment. The results are not out yet! Kill me straight don't leave me hanging! Got to wait for them to call or email. Goodness. Can't they hurry and pick me?! Haha.

How bad are you?

2006-05-02T23:26:00.000+08:00

Are you a good or bad boy/girl?? Add one point for everything you have done. If you get more than 60 - you are bad! Lower than that-- no worries you're still a little angel!

BE HONEST!!! NO CHEATING!

1) smoked
2) consumed alcohol
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex
6) made out with someone of the same sex
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex
8) watched porn
9) bought porn
10) done drugs
TOTAL: 4

11) taken pain killers
12) taken someone else's prescription medicine
13) lied to your parents
14) lied to a friend
15) snuck out of the house
16) done something illegal
17) cut yourself
18) hurt someone
19) wished someone to die
20) seen someone die
TOTAL: 6

21) missed curfew
22) stayed out all night
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
24) been to a therapist
25) been to rehab
26) dyed your hair
27) received a ticket
28) been in a wreck
29) been to a club
30) been to a bar
TOTAL: 6

31) been to a wild party
32) seen the Mardi Gras
34) had a spring break in Florida
35) sniffed anything
36) wore black nail polish
37) wore arm bands
38) wore t-shirts with band names
39) listened to rap
40) own a 50 cent CD
TOTAL: 1

41) dressed gothic
42) dressed prep
43) dressed punk
44) dressed grunge
45) stole something
46) been too drunk to remember anything
47) blacked out
48) fainted
49) had a crush on your neighbor
50) had someone sneak into your room
TOTAL: 1

51) snuck into someone else's room
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex
53) been to a concert
54) dry humped someone
55) been called a slut
56) called someone a slut
57) installed speakers in your car
58) broke a mirror
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
TOTAL: 2

61) consider Mac, Dre, e40 or Mistah Fab your favorite rapper
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters
63) cruised the mall
64) skipped school
65) had an eating disorder
66) had an injury
67) gone to court
68) walked out of a restaurant without paying
69) caught something on fire
70) lied about your age
TOTAL: 2

71) owned an apartment
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend
73) cheated with someone
74) got in trouble with the police
75) talked to a stranger
76) hugged a stranger
77) kissed a stranger
78) rode in the car with a stranger
79) been sexually harassed
80) been verbally harassed
TOTAL: 1

81) met face to face with someone you met online
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight
84) watched TV for 12 hours straight
85) been to a fair
86) been called a bad influence
87) cursed
88) prank called someone
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex
90) cheated on a test
TOTAL: 8 (oopz! HIGH SCORE)

91) cheated on homework
92) held hands with someone of the opposite sex
93) been pushed into a pool
94) played pool
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older than you
97) had a crush on someone younger than you
98) wear eyeliner
99) skinny dipped
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt
TOTAL: 5

Final total: 36

Stole this from Azri.. I am just as bad as him. Haha.

The Virgo

2006-05-02T20:17:00.000+08:00

Your sign of Virgo is of an earthy nature and is representative of the sixth sign of the zodiac. You belong to a group of people known for their perfectionist and highly analytical minds. In a way, Virgos are misunderstood and this attention to detail and striving for excellence has in many circles given you a rather unusual reputation for being extremely critical. The fact is that you aspire to doing things properly, methodically through the work and service that you perform.

As you are ruled by the intellectual planet Mercury, you bring a clear and decisive viewpoint to any matter at hand. Others who may not be so precise in the way they execute their own duty find it hard dealing with you. In your own mind there’s no point in doing anything half-heartedly. Your critical eye, therefore, must express itself if you see anything less than acceptable.

Some people think you’re shy and unassuming but this is because your caution is simply your way of observing people and situations before jumping to conclusions. You certainly do have keen intelligence and a capacity for learning but prefer to make your decisions based on sound judgments and sufficient facts. When you do express your criticisms it is more than likely because you’ve analysed and summed up a situation quite correctly before doing so. While some people might find this an annoying habit, others will never hesitate to involve you in their work, social scene or even personal projects, as your expertise is highly valued. You make a wonderful impression with your skilful insights and broad-based knowledge. In other words you are a most interesting person to associate with.

Your keen eye may sometimes be turned back on yourself and self-criticism could become a very personal challenge for you. No matter what you do or achieve, it will never seem quite good enough for you. Others may praise you and encourage you for the good work and the excellence of your service, but you don’t really believe it, do you, Virgo? This may be expressed as fastidiousness and a constant distraction about cleanliness, hygiene and tidiness, although there are some Virgos who swing to the completely opposite direction and are sloppy and untidy. This is rare, however.

This preoccupation with outer cleanliness, order and method may be a compulsion, a distraction from deeper issues and opportunities that life offers. There is a vast difference between compulsive obsession behaviour and generally keeping things tidy. You must try to discipline your already evolved mind to understand the difference and relax more.

If you can overcome your tendency to high-strung nervous tension, an overly critical and precision-based interaction with others, you will enjoy your life so much more, Virgo. Allow yourself to imbibe the youthful, childlike and innocent qualities of your ruling planet Mercury, which is referred to as “a youngster” in Hindi mythology. This return to your innate innocence is the true symbolic expression of Virgo the Virgin. That purity and childlike innocence is what your true nature is really all about.

Halfway Hanging

2006-05-02T00:43:00.000+08:00

Yep. I spent a whole day to change my bloggie. I said I would almost half a year ago. Finally something I like personally this time. The previous one wasn't worth remembering at all. This isn't very original, but I modified a huge part of it, which makes it sort of original. The ultimate mind-boggling thing was how to make the graphics mesh together nicely. Argh. And I have a feeling its going to look weird on IE.

Exams is just almost over. One more paper to go and I could vaguely remember the module title. Great. Only two days left, I am always waiting for the sense of crisis to hit. It comes a tad too late everytime. Just like what happened to MS2008. I only looked at the crucial stuffs minutes before I entered the examination hall.

I'm off MSN for so long I'm kinda scared to go back. The fear of all the alerts thats going to sound. Not that many people will come find me to chat but I've been in isolation for too long to welcome any form of human interaction so abruptly. Got to start "warming up" again. I enjoy isolation too much for my own good.

I'm really praying hard to get my interview company. I applied for ExxonMobil. Its really hard to get 'cause everyone wants it. Just hoping hoping...

I'm Back

2006-04-26T23:56:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back after a month of mugging. I have been away for so long I had to ponder a while for the log-in password. My language have fallen to a new low. See?

I guess I'm lack of anything interesting to say. My brain is overloaded with lecture notes and past year papers I am no longer functioning properly as a human being. Blogging seems like a dying interest and my lack of coherence only made it worse.

My cat killed a lizard yesterday and I witnessed the whole process. Was quite sick after that, and I found it hard to sayang my cat a bit. Hmm.. but now I'm okay. I still love my cat VERY much.

I still have one last paper on the 4th of May. And after that, I'm going to have my much awaited break! Need to find a temp job before my industrial attachment(Yeay!.. I really hope I can get my interview company!! Praying hard!!) Any one have any lobangs let me know yah?

I found that its hard to make new friends in the school. Trying to widen my circle of friends coz its just too darn small. Its pathetic. But its not easy to make new friends 'cause singaporeans aren't THAT friendly anyway.

Met Aisha on the train just now. Real nice catching up with old friends. Brings back happy thoughts, unlike the harsh and dry university life I am leading. Why do some people have such fufiling university life?

Saw Wan Rou on 179 today too. Nice to know after so many years we still can recognize each other. And saw many of my friends from EEE at the exam venue today too. Heard that course is a killer. Scary. Either that or I'm just too dumb for that. I'm kinda enjoying the lack of sophistication in my course subjects.

Its also high time to reschedule my tuitions so that I won't have to attend service too early in the morning, and being alone there ( I have difficulties waking up anyway.) Okay, I admit when I know I'll be alone I don't attend at all. I deserve a huge knock in the head I know. bOO. So much for telling Irene to come to church, I feel so hypocritical.

Contemplating a tuition assignment. Hmm.. I feel the need to help kids with their work. (blah.. I know none of you believe this one. But its TRUE.) I taught these two brothers last year. Stopped for almost half a year, now the mother is asking me back. Hmm.. How how? Thinking hard..

The Day Me and My Cat Fell

2006-03-20T02:50:00.000+08:00

At the veterinarian waiting for the vet to come back from lunch.
In a basket, immobile. Poor Bishop.

My cat fell, literally, from nine storeys down. It was a miracle it survived without any internal injuries. Just a broken pelvis. It was a miracle. But I am heartbroken nonetheless. I scoured through my entire block the moment I found Bishop not in the house. From 12 storeys to the first I searched. It was only until I heard him call out when I was on the ground floor I realised he was nearby. The worry that I may never find him again was lifted. I searched around on the ground floor and found nothing. My cousin came along to join in the search. I then went up to the second level and there it was, on the roof of the porch, crying out in pain. I had no idea how it landed there, I didn't dare think it jumped from my balcony. I carried it back to my house to realise that it couldn't walk nor stand up. This was much worse. My cousin had to rush Bishop to a veterinarian. I was really afraid I would lose him.

I fell. This affected me a lot. Plus, all the things that I'm supposed to be doing keeps piling up. Being reprimanded for something I had no idea how to do but tried to do. Thank you. Its enough for me. For all these things to strike me at one go. I guess things happen at the wrong time wrong place. I should have never taken the FC position. Let's just say I have committment issues. I am stretched really thin. I'm sorry I had not taken good control of the situation. I am sorry I disappointed people. I'm heading for disaster. I should tender my resignation for the FOC long ago. I knew I had no time. Things have turned out this way, I've got nothing to explain. I don't know what to change in the budget except vague instructions such as, "reconsider the log pnp and welfare budget, the total expenditure is too high/ low." (heck). My bad I didn't double check the quantities. The minutes said much, not. Meetings were held on days I had tuition and I was unable to go. It was not as though I did not request for certain portfolios to update on quotations. I heard of nothing afterwhich. People aren't helping when they do not confirm the information I need to report to some other party. Everyone tells me they are busy. So is it my fault that I'm busy too?

I am in a bad shape mentally. Working with friends in something is a tricky situation. The same goes for the previous episode on project work.

I am without brains because I threw it away.

Projects Bring Out the Worst in People

2006-03-18T01:06:00.000+08:00

Singaporeans are selfish. Face it. We are selfish like it or not. In a way, I am disappointed I have to come to this conclusion.

I have issues regarding Project Work in school. The school encourages project work to let us learn from each other, to be able to work with others and share the task at hand. To begin with, university students are a whole bunch of selfish people. Try putting all these selfish people together, you simply get a big group of selfish people who hardly gets much done. Make a module worth 2 aus with projects and presentations, seriously, its really hard to bother yourself. I admit, I didn't care enough for things to work out smoothly, neither do I have that luxury of time. Its a common excuse. Who really has time anyway?

I admit I couldn't care less for a module that's worth 2 academic units. Who cares if you get an A? It won't matter much if you don't anyway. I just don't get it. As much as I try to keep the group together, people want to walk out on it. It is out of my control to make people come for meetings and stay long enough to finish the task. I know there are people who think they have what it takes to do things on their own. I would jolly say, "Yes, by all means." For the sake of the tutor and other group members, and for the fact that this is a project, I have to spend time to pacify many parties. At the same time, compromise my position.

Some people care too much while some simply refuse to. Why prolong our agony? Get the damn project done and thats it!

I'd love to say just F**** the whole damn project. But religion and responsibilty forbids me to do so. Like I've said, a project isn't worth killing yourself and your groupmates. This was the first time I got mad at someone because of a project. It's stupid, to put it bluntly. Such things only happen in primary schools. This, we will realise when this semester is over. Yes, perhaps you will get an A for this module, you'll find that you lost good relationships with people. Losing friends is definitely not worth it especially when you find that you don't have much to begin with. So not everyone would feel that friends are important. Especially university friends, superficial, I would call most of the friendships forged in university. My point is if you can't maintain good relationship with the people around you even in university, you will have a whole lot to suffer when you go out working, which I believe is going to be much worse.

You may call me superficial. No matter if the project is done to perfection or not, I'd want to keep people happy with one another. At the end of the day, project is short term. Relationships with people goes a far longer way.

This entry has not been engineered to target any individual in particular. Parties involved serves only as part of the experience I have had in the above mentioned Project. I am not afraid to anger people. However, this is just not my purpose at this point in time.

Blogging seems to be getting boring

2006-03-12T01:31:00.000+08:00

Yeah. Its really boring when you find that you got nothing to talk about. Reminds me that I'm leading a really boring life. Every entry equals one reminder. When is this going to change??

30 odd days till exams. I'm a mood spoiler here I know. But whatever. I'm boring with nothing better to say anyway. So guys.. hope you all study hard for exams!.. I don't think I need to remind anyone but myself. I'm so leading a sad life..

My Favorite Box has My Favourite things No More!!

2006-03-03T16:07:00.000+08:00

No more Discovery Channel for me. No more Animal Planet. No more National Geographic. No more Discovery Travelling and Living. I am going to become dumber!

In place of my favourite channels, my brother subscribed the sports channels (&#$%#@&!!!). Think he got Hallmark and stars movie too. Bleh~

I really hate soccer because of my brother. However great the sport may be, I hate it! Thanks to my brother.

Today I finished the foc budget. Thank goodness. One more thing off my overdue list.

I'm in a really pissed mood today. Plus, someone really wanted to get on my nerves. Sometimes, you just got to know when to back off. Some people just don't. I decided not to care. Why kill my brain cells over something so unimportant?

Hey people. I don't know if you have noticed, I have another blog too. Sideasideb... spare it a few minutes k? Thanks.. its hopelessly neglected.

Blogging

2006-03-02T03:03:00.000+08:00

It seems like blogging has become a chore for me. I only blog when people bug me to. Seriously, this semester has made me feel like a lost sheep in desert. At least if I'm a camel, I have water in my humps. A sheep? I'm as good as dead.

40 days and counting.. exams are coming. I wish to get this semester over and done with and go for my IA in my 3rd year 1st sem. I dunno if its a dumb plan, I just want to get away from studying for a long period of time! 3 months of holidays is waiting for me. Plus, if I go for my IA, I will get away from studying for almost 9 months! Seems like a good plan to me...

The FOC is nearing and I haven't really done much as the finance controller. Seriously I wish someone will take my place. I hate responsibilities! I guess I'm asking the obvious.. who would want a job as shitty as this? I am too dumb to turn down this position. Should have just volunteered to be a senior attach.. slack and enjoy.. Stupid me.. downright stupid.

Xiao Mao must be wishing I have loads of money to buy loads of cat food!

2006-02-25T01:31:00.000+08:00

I think I am losing my coherence. My posts are all in short and brief sentences. Unlike in the past, I was able to blabber on and on in huge paragraphs.

I think I have lost of gift of bitching. Perhaps its time I grew up. :x

Nowadays, I am hardly angry at any tiny thing. Good thing, really. Now my head can be used for the greater things in life. Bigger arguments. (haha)

I thought my previous post was really distasteful. Maybe this is the problem with virgos. We think too much and we leave many things unsaid till the breaking point. Which makes us appear as really problematic people.

Definitely it made me feel better letting things out. Thanks weiwei for listening. I must have been a damn scary person. HAha.

Also, I found such posts can make people tag! Saucy juicy news eh? Enough of crap, I should not be abusing people's concern and taking them for granted. Thank you people...

My Xiao Mao is growing well. I think I should call it Bishop. Simply because it looks like one. Chim name I feel.. and rather difficult to call for it to sound cute.

Question for the day: " Where do you see yourself five years down the road?"

Because what you do today will be where you are heading 5 years later. Do you see yourself where you wanna be, and are you doing the things which leads you where you wanna go?

Anyone who has a heart

2006-02-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

Why do you have that special somebody in your heart?

I can't feel my heart. Sometimes I realise I've got no heart. I do not have anything. While people can have the one person they love in there, I found my own to be empty.

Why?

I also wonder why I'm not able to be anybody's special someone.

It would be a real blessing to know that someone keeps a special place for you.

I do not have that good fortune.

I realise the desireable men that I have met, their hearts are occupied already.

(Desireable does not just include good looks.. rich dads.. fast cars..I mean genuinely good people.)

I am sadden.

Why am I not that kind of woman to receive such good grace.

Things don't always turns out the way you want them to be.

What will it take me to replace that person in your heart?

Sometimes I thought if I were to find the right person, I would give my all to take that person's place.

But on retrospect, I would always be a substitute, second to what was initially there.

And not to mention, I would be psychotic.

Many a times, I pictured myself leading a life on my own.

Things I desire seems to be taken already.

I'm in a circumstance where I am not free to do what I want.

I can only see you behind a wall of glass, and I can't break that wall.

Shattering that wall would mean shattering you.

Sick

2006-02-13T10:42:00.000+08:00

My year started real lousy.. I found myself sick in the first two months more often than any three years combined before 2006. What is happening to me!?

Today I got diahorrea.. this same thing happened last week on tuesday.. before cny I was down with a cold.. then I lost my voice. Argh..

Then a few nights back I had a really freakish dream.. I dreamt that I was in the washroom, washing my hands at the sink and I found myself bleeding really badly. Blood was oozing out from my wrist.. but strangely I couldn't see the wound and felt no pain.. But blood was all over the place. Then I looked up into the mirror and saw that I had sunken cheeks, complexion really grey. I look dead. Argh.. freakish..

I remember I was in a white robe.. but stained with blood (wrist continues bleeding).. I walked out of the washroom and walked to somewhere I thought was like a restaurant. Then everyone turned and gasped,"OMG, what happened to her?"

I stood there for a moment or two, still wondering what exactly has happened to me... then I woke up.

When I opened my eyes, I felt a little restrained.. couldn't really move my body.. spasm.

I kept praying and praying after that. I dunno what my dream means. Maybe its just some horror movie that I've seen or I am self-mutilating.. sigh.. maybe I'm just really stressed and drained.

Time

2006-02-01T03:06:00.000+08:00

I have been urged to change the layout of my blog, or rather, to finish it.

You see, time is a precious commodity.

I'm so tied up with commitments in school and out of. I'm so busy I hardly have the time to breathe!

For a moment I wanted to revert back to the blog templates provided by blogger. The simplier they are the more pleasing. And entries look good on them too. User friendly and navigation is smooth. I am so r-e-s-i-s-t-i-n-g the urge to change it to the custom templates.

I guess I will stick with these. I didn't spend that 5 mins on Photoshop for nothing. Much less to say, another 30 mins on the positioning of all those links.

I could only wish I have more than 24 hours in a day....

By far the most interesting thing that happened this week:

The main purpose of this photo was to try out the "big head small head" effect as suggested by my little brother. I thought this was a really nice photo despite my plastic smile and awfully "kok" plastic frames, and my (skinny) brother's double chin.

I used the same picture on msn and everyone I talked to asked if that's my boyfriend. Haha. Of the many comments, one said.. "hmm.. quite yandao"... and another.. "quite chio"... (head swells)... I guess it runs in the family...

Chinese New Year : A Prelude

2006-01-24T14:59:00.000+08:00

Counting down the days to the Lunar Chinese New Year, an approximate 4 days.

Just had a quiz yesterday, 4 questions, 2 screwed. Hopefully I can pass... sigh... Who in the right mind would give a quiz in the week right before chinese new year anyway?!

In the school computer lab now. Suppose to be having class on library reseach skills. Blah.. I am not in the correct condition now.. stomach aching (has been like tat for the past few days) Its not exactly the poopy kind of ache.. something is wrong...

Vacuumed my room for the first time this year today. Cleared out some junk too.. Just heard a friend's Toshiba notebook went into some accident. Not quite an accident anyway because she didn't know what happened or what she did to it. Sad case. Apparently, she suddenly found a 3 by 1 cm crack on her LCD screen. Ouch! I asked a schoolmate of mine for the possible causes.. perhaps my friend hugged it too hard, she rested the laptop with the LCD screen at the bottom.. this would cause stress on the screen and quite possibly, result in a crack. So, NEVER rest your notebook face down.

So I was supposed to be talking about the Chinese New Year. It was definitely something I look forward to in the past, when your age begins with 1. aRgh. Now, not only the ang-pao money will shrink dramatically, the number of (awkward) questions nosey relatives ask will be never-ending. The cooking, entertaining, talking, smiling, gossiping, feasting a common norm at my place on the first day of the new year. That's why I dread New Year.. more work for my family.

Going to other people's house is quite a chore too. Usually you'll be stuck at a friend's or relative's house for the whole day just bumming around doing nothing, or perhaps doing what is usually termed "socialising". So usually I would try to kill time snacking.. the most interesting and least tiring thing to do... sigh

My ideal new year would be a holiday. But I realised the youngsters these days (including me.. haha) are too "westernised" to notice the importance of the chinese new year. I am ashamed of myself in a way, and in another way, perhaps all the zest I once had has been eaten away by bad habits of people who goes to other people's house and mess up everything.. people who smiles and stabs you in the face.. cousins who can't stop comparing who has more designer label clothes, whose bf is more hunky.. the list goes on.

Okay okay.. not all my relatives are so bad. There are nice ones too. Hmm.. new year will come and go.. so I'll just shut my eye and wait for it to go away.. hahaha

A guy from my secondary school

2006-01-17T12:27:00.000+08:00

I was cleaning my room and I came across a bag full of greeting cards that old friends sent to me. I felt really bad looking at that bag because I received so much from friends and yet I gave so little. I was really unappreciative in the past really.

Just let me name a few.. the highest hits of cards sent to me were Cuixia, ruby, Irene, Ying wen, yihui, peishi... etc.etc. Not arranged in order though. I really want to thank these people and I want to apologize for not thanking them any earlier.

I came across one card halfway through the bag. Its a card plus letter from a certain guy called Jason from my 4E2 class... I read the letter (as though for the first time, cause its too faraway a time to really remember.) and I felt so bad for the things I've done. A certain teddy bear was "disemboweled" because I rejected it. At the end of the secondary four year, I received another present. A dog soft toy (I really liked cats, you see). Together with the card and letter of coz. The second time round I kept all three things. I guess I was too immature to handle situations like this in the past. To begin with, I was rather insensitive to people's feelings.

The whole point is, I want to apologize to this Jason from my class. Even though its not that important now, I still want to say my sorry.

Just last year, I was celebrating my birthday at Swensons' (Jurong Point) with my ntu friends, I saw Jason. I was really happy to see he has gotten himself a very pretty girlfriend. Good going! But I didn't say hi to him, and perhaps he didn't see me or something. Though I thought maybe we can start being friends again (we weren't really friends in school cause I was a big time mean-nie).

There's no amount of sorries I can say for the way I behaved... too many bad things I've done to too many people.....

Mei Xian's Birthday

2006-01-16T00:49:00.000+08:00

DO-RE-MI-FA-SO

(From left: Daniel Jonathan Meixian Irene Me)

Scandalous Pic

Revealed....

feeling exhilarated after eating my "tofu"....

testing the camera...